Which just confirms Ron White's adage, "You can't fix stupid."
Too funny! That's what Diane said about you.
Why I, Chumlee, vote Republican...
I vote Republican because I believe people that are down on their luck and need some help should crawl in a hole and die.
I vote Republican because government should not be involved with education at any level.
I vote Republican because Big Oil deserves to continue to receive billions in subsides even though their profits are at an all time high.
I vote Republican because I hate clever people.
I vote Republican because I’m afraid of sex.
I vote Republican because I’m afraid of science.
I vote Republican because it’s my god given right to carry a .50 caliber machine gun in my car just in case...
I vote Republican because we need to keep brown people, the gays, and uppity women in line. Except for lesbians, of course, as long as they’re hot.
I vote Republican because we love caterpillars.
I vote Republican because English teachers who won’t allow the use of the Caps Lock key should be fired.
I vote Republican because it’s our god given right to rape the earth.
I vote Republican because I enjoy freak shows.
I vote Republican because unions should be crushed.
I vote Republican because we don’t need or want complete sentences.
I vote Republican because I’m very concerned about the conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
I vote Republican because they’re the only ones that will protect us from the Black Helicopters.
I vote Republican because no one needs to be paid more than $4 an hour to survive.
I vote Republican because everyone deserves a car elevator.
I vote Republican because Rush Limbaugh should be on Mount Rushmore.
I vote Republican so we can torture anyone we damn well please.
I vote Republican because children should be on the factory floor by the age of ten.
I vote Republican because I enjoy being a tool.