Of the female crews I've seen, most are more than aggresive enough to handle a boat in tight quarters, but perhaps lack the assertiveness to ask to skipper.
A big problem is interpretation of the words "skipper" and "crew." It's one of my pet peeves. For some strange reason, catamaran sailors think that skipper is synonymous with helm.
On a two-person boat, you have two crew members, a helmsperson and a foredeck person. One of those crew members is the skipper, the person who makes the final decisions and gives the orders. And it does not matter whether the skipper is helmsperson or foredeck person.
It often makes sense for the skipper to be the foredeck person, who is more free to look for wind shifts and call tactics and laylines, and tweak the sail trim, so the helmsperson can just concentrate on telltales and making the boat go fast.
So, in other words, asking to steer the boat is not the same thing as asking to skipper.
