Don't Ask Me How I Know

Rules are, every comment posted must end in "Don't Ask Me How I Know"

Fire away!

When taking a few young ladies sailing and they want to go topless hold on tight! You may fall off backwards.

"Don't Ask Me How I Know"

Release your sheets before you right your boat.


Don't ask me how I know.

When distance racing and a bunch of boats go through a certain section of a bridge. Do not try the next section down.

Don't ask me how I know.

Things not to say during sex..
I have to poop.
Smile for the camera!
Get off me, i'll do it myselft.
This is your first time...right?
You're almost as good as my ex
When is this supposed to feel good?
I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs?!
I was so horny tonight i would have taken a sheep home.
My friends were right, You ARE good!
On second thought, let's turn the lights off.
I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly.
Do i have to pay for this?
You're too fat to be on top, You'd kill me!
Actually, your sister 'likes' it like this.
What's your name again?
Uhhh...I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.

Don't ask me how I know

After injuring your shoulder never let your Hobie Dealer sail your boat where there may be shallows.

Don't ask me how I know.

You broke your own rule in the first post by the "Fire away !"

Don't ask me how I know.

Don't ask me where I got this.

When you're dong Ruff Rider Regatta for the first time, don't venture out of the channel in a shallow bay.

Don't ask me how I know.

Falling through the mainsail





















search for it
























TWICE!
Really sux


Don't ask me how I know.

No matter how many years you've been sailing Hobies, never, ever ASSume that you know where the boom of a Mystere 20 will stop in a gybe. Unless you enjoy the idea of traveling 1500 miles to spend a Saturday night at Tampa General, instead of at the regatta party.

Don't ask me how I know.

There was another from on the bridge.

Don't ask me what I did with it.

Don't buff/polish and teflon wax your hulls, then immediately set your beams with epoxy resin, and expect the masking tape to stick to the hulls.

Don't ask me how I know.

When pulling your boat on the trailer and heading for a stop light you spot two babes walking on the side walk. One is your neighbor you wave and she waves back don't expect the guy in the van behind you to see the red light.

Don't ask me how I know.

Make sure the shackle holding the sidestay to the boat is done up tight and check it every week. It's only fast on one tack.

Don't ask me how I know.

If you boat is set up with neutral helm, don't let go of it if you fall off or after righting it. it will sail away from you very fast and straight towards the reef. If you do, make sure there is a rescue boat close by.

Don't ask me how I know.

When sailing out at sea you decide to go for ten more miles... Don't simply assume the guys back at the club won't call the coast guard.
Don't ask me how I know...

The N20 rotator mechanism leaves a very interesting imprint on your face.

Don't ask me how I know that.

(and mentioned in another thread)

The old Jewfish Creek bridge in the keys is less than 32 feet off the water. Don't ask me how I know that...


(and more recently) The N20 daggarboard can take a full-face hit by a 180 lb person from the hull without damage. Don't ask me how I know that.

I have started to type a response about 10 times in this thread and i always stop myself from hitting submit

Awww c'mon, it's FUN! everybody's doing it... don't ask me how I know that.

When out on the trap you see the water all around you go perfectly flat from a big ol downburst, you will hit the leeward sidestay about the time the tip of the mast is the first part of the boat to hit the water.

Don't ask me how I know.

When blasting your H16 airborne every other wave in survival conditions just trying to get back to the beach- those stainless dogbones can break teeth.

Don't ask me how I know.

MAINSAIL - Don't Ask Me How I Know

When sailing out the Clearwater pass... with easterly wind, tide rushing out (west) and southerly waves.... DON'T trap out....

Don't ask me how i know.

The double fore stay adjuster on a Hobie 16 will bruise your arm pit through a 1/4" wetsuit.

Don't ask me how I know.

Not exactly but close – the mainsheet got twisted when going upwind (could not depower). I managed to stay on the hull in the air but my crew – you saw what happen.

Kris

Ahhhhh i almost forgot...

When sailing with GF.... and she is trying to sunbath/nap...

DO NOT PULL OUT THE SPINNAKER AND DO THE WILD THING!

Go ahead,... ask me how i know

A H16 on a screamin' reach with 400 lbs of crew will still pitch pole, which will fly the skipper and crew upside down at least ten feet off the water.

Don't ask me how I know.

Do not slide ankle between rasied dagger board and shroud when pitchpoling your inter 17.

Don't Ask Me How I Know

HOW DO YOU KNOW? Ha! I said it!

Mark Smith may say he's only 196, but he feels like a full 205 when he's on your back.

Don't!

lbs or years old? :P

You can dig N20 bows in so hard that you can see your crew's outline on the back-side of the spinnaker before you pitchpole pitchpoles

Don't ask me how I know...

Inspection port peepholes make a whistling noise when water sloshes around in the hull (because the drain plugs are not installed) while sailing

Don't ask me how I know

If you want a lot of good pictures of sudden, violent capsizes, hire a helicopter for a photo shoot.

Don't ask me how I know.

I Nacra 20 Bow vs an Evinrude 225HP outboard, the Nacra 20 bow will lose everytime.

Don't ask me how I know.

Don't fair the trailing edge of you dagger boards even remotely sharp...

Don't ask me how I know.

I now know the difference between Jam and Marmalade,,,,,

Please, please, don't ask me how I know....

If you are doing the Steeple Chase on the second day, just after the start, discussing the change in the water color ahead, going mach 3....it is too late. You land 15ft in front of the boat and roll over just in time to see your skipper in the air, about to squash you into the mucking flats.

don't ask me how I know...

if you are on ebay, late night, on the weekend, maybe a drink or many, and decide there is something you must have and you bid on several of them, your wife will be very upset when you end up "winning" them all. Can result in loss of ebay privileges...

don't ask me how I know...but Robyn would probably tell you...

(1) Freshly waxed decks may look good at a boat show, but sliding off your boat isn't fast on the racecourse (actually, you can ask me how I know that).

(2) On windy days, glassy spots mean shallow water.

Don't ask me how I know.

When sailing down wind up a narrow channel, it really pays to know how long until the next ebb tide.

Don't ask me how I know.

When the seagulls are walking on the water, and you can see their knees, It is getting shallow.

Don't ask me how I know.

If you buy a 21 year old Cat and dont know if the stays have been replaced recently, don't expect to keep the square side of your new mylar main pointing up when it turns 22.
Dont ask me how I know.

Make sure you always have sufficent tension on your diamonds.

Don't dare to ask me how I know.

Squirrels like to keep their hair.

Don't as me how I know

Noodles like to dance with trash cans

Don't.....

It's not a good idea to sleep naked when you are anchored in an unfamiliar area and might get run over by a freighter.

Don't ask me how I know.

I won't ask you how you know ........
but I'll bet I'm not the only one that wants to know "The Rest of the Story"
Especially if Mary is telling it !

ONLY if Mary is telling it... seriously, do you want to hear it from Rick?

When your miles ahead of the competition don't cut too close the A buoy snagging its anchor line on your very deep centerboards and causing the most spectacular cartwheel


Don't ask me how I know....

When a whirlwind comes at you on the water sucking you towards it, teabagging you dont point down opening yourself up for the broadside slam, take the teabag

Don't ask me how I know

If you lose a twist shackel... be sure to look in your centerboard wells.....

Don't ask me

When standing on your spreaders while the boat is sailing have the person sailing the boat roll up the jib first before climbing down it.

Don't ask me how I know.

Thank god it was before spin poles

Make sure the shackle that connects the bridles to the forestay is safety-wired.

Don't ask me how I know.

Don't leave your crew with a drill in his hand anywhere near the mainsail.

Don't ask me how I know.

If you go to a friends house who does sail repair, and you lay your main out on his lawn for inspection....before you go inside for the customary drink/chat, make damn sure that he doesn't have one of those robotic lawn mowers that automatically starts itself up.

Don't ask my friend Gray how he knows!

oh no...

oh no no no...

HOLY CRAP.

Ugh. And I thought I had a sick feeling the day a neighbor showed up in my back yard and informed me that he didn't think I wanted my main sail in the middle of our street, so he put it back on my lawn for me.

A stray bullet that goes through a sail tube can make 9 holes through a dacron sail.

Don't ask me how I know.

I believe we have a winner.

I concur.

What has he won, Don Pardo?

I hope he won a new mainsail.

Damn thats harsh!

OOOH! Got this one second hand:

MOB packs do not deploy when the boat is on its side.

Don't ask me how I know (because it wasn't me for once!)

If a small motorboat ties its bow line to a capsized sailboat to right it using the engine in reverse, it will sink very fast.

Don't ask me how I know.

Never play chicken with a 31 foot twin screw cabin cruiser.

This is how I know...

Were you on port or starbord?

Unfortunatly Port. T-Boned while racing. Blinded by the sail. But I did see the propellers as they passed by my face....

The boat was shipping seas at the moment of impact.

If you have always come in off the wire and rounded conservatively at A mark, don't choose the first race at nationals when the wind is on to be the rounding where you stay on the wire and zoom it around the mark (especially when you expect to make up ground downwind).

Don't ask me or John Williams how I know. . .

Crashing on ski's at 70+mph hurts

Don't ask me how I know.

A looong Zipping sound on a wooden cat can indicate one deck is about to peel off like a banana skin.

car body filler can cover a multitude of sins

Don't ask me how I know.
[/quote]

When "there's something stuck to the rudder", chances are that it's holding the tiller extension.

Don't ask...



A cotter pin, nut or bolt in your tramp may have been put there on purpose. When you get to this conclusion, the race will have started already. It doesn't happen twice.

Don't ask...

Huge 90 degree gust. Violent and sudden capsize. Hurled off the upper hull, you have only split second to control where you'll land.

Don't land in the mainsail! Don't land on the boom! If you try to land in the water UNDER the boom, remember about the sidestay hiding just under the water.

DO NOT LET YOUR LEGS STRADDLE THAT STAY WHEN YOU GO IN!!!

Don't ask me how I know.

From a rooster to a hen, from a hotdog to a bun.......ouch!

That explains alot!

Never sail your boat to a bar in Mexico and leave the sails up thinking your going to have only one drink and not expect the tide to be comming up. When the boat is gone when you return, don't expect to be able to hire a Meixcan Fisherman to take you out on his boat to find it (after dark). When you return home to your wife (now ex-wife), don't expect her to not say "Why does this not suprise me that you went to Rocky Point for Spring Break with your buddies and lost your boat." And don't expect the fishermen who found it to not pilfer all the good running rigging and still charge you $200 bucks because of the Mexican Salvage Law.

Don't ask me how I know all this.

I knew all that. But don't ask me how I know.

http://forums.sailinganarchy.com/index.php?showtopic=18643

Your catamaran's sailplan works best when the shrouds remain attached to the deck.

Don't ask me how I know that...

Double check your shackles (especial the ones on your shroud adjusters) before you leave the beach. If you look over and your stay is flapping in the wind.... you may have some work ahead of you...

Don't ask me how I know ...

I had a ring ding break on shroud pin JUST as I was turn 4.3 around on the beach. It did a slow drop and crew caught it. MAN has I glad we where on the beach. Would have been a mess the snuffer and all to get back on boat for tow.

Doug

Last post was a violation of thread protocol...

Don't ask me how I know!

Clayton

When you loan your RV to a workmate, be sure they understand that the water pressure regulator should be left on the hose when connecting to a street water supply - especially in a location known for problematically high water pressure. Don't ask my how I know.

OH! and if you loan an RV to a workmate, make sure they're honest enough to tell you when a problem arises so you don't figure it out the night before you are supposed to leave for a regatta....don't ask me how I know.

Jake you should know better! never loan your stuff to a workmate.. that can cause hard feelings and a lack of productivity at work... but since we dont work together... can i use your RV?


(dont ask me....)

It did spur a "duh" idea for me though...I've always hated having to deal with a hose-mounted external water pressure regulator anyway - the exterior hose kind leak, they choke down the water flow way too much (the shower dribbles), and I have to replace them about every year...I'm now installing a $20 fixed regulator just inside the exterior water inlet. duh.

what's the coolest sheets available for the boat. have been searching and it all said was materials used but i want to get the advice from pros like you guys.. any suggestions.

Fitted or non-fitted?

Don't ask me how I know the difference....

If you see your bows suddenly rise up in your rear view mirror while driving forward on a rural road it is probably not good. While you might hope you simply forgot to lock the hitch on the receiver ball, it is also possible that the mast's forward progress was suddenly halted by a power line. You may find that the trailer tie-downs are so strong that instead of breaking, your trailer bent in half. Your neighbors may be looking at you for all sorts of reasons, losing power in their homes among them.

Don't ask me how I know.

This seems a little "off the topic" ... you would get a better responce as a new thread (or use the serach feature)

I love the robline dingy racing sheets.... go ahead.. ask me... !!!

when out fishing,

pay attention to your boatmates as they bring in their catches. Not doing so can bring you pain and grief, and an evening soaking extremities in very hot salt water.

don' aks me how Ah knows.