I'm not sure if this is a rigging question or just sailing technique.

When my wife and I sail in moderate to heavy wind (10-15 w/ gusts to 20) we frequently bury our lee bow when beating to windward. Full disclosure when the two of us are on the boat we are 500 lbs of crew.
So. My question is; do I have the boat set up to aggressively? I have the mast raked pretty far back and the jib right down at the bottom of the head stay.
Or, am it not pointing high enough and ending up on a close reach with the sails hauled in? I am trimming to the tell tales like I used to do on my Newport twenty but it feels like I'm not pointing all that high. This is happening with me sitting on the rear casting and her right up next to me.
Any thoughts guys.
Thanks.