From the Hobie HOTLINE Vol. 2, Issue 5 (p.15)
Dr. Goephast's Medicine Bag
by Chuck Patch, Ph.D. in B.S.
Ailment: Post Pitchpole Depression
Symptoms: sudden loss of boatspeed, severe dampness of skipper and crew, unnatural elevation at the rudders
Comments: Post Pitchpole Depression (PPD) will affect all sailors during their sailing careers. Even on shore, many prefer not to discuss pitchpoling. There are numerous strains of PPD. Any sailor knows there must be fifty ways to leave your Hobie. Below we examine various levels of the ailment:
Level 1. The "Santa Claus" Syndrome
On a reach, in flat water, the crew notices the lee bow sinking lower in the water. Regardless how many people are aboard, suddenly everyone wants to sit in the skipper's lap.
Level 2. The "Das Boot" Syndrome
This occurs sailing downwind in large chop. The bows bury into the back of a wave, and the boat slows as the hulls continue moving forward underwater. Catamarans do not make good submarines, so it is best to avoid this mode. In the performance of this maneuver, skippers have been injured, slugged by crews upset about the five gallons of ice-cold water having just went down the back of their wetsuits.
Level 3. The "Fred and Ginger" Syndrome
aka the Demicell Maneuver
Sailing upwind, double trapped, the leeward hull digs in gently, causing the boat to decelerate. Inertia causes the skipper and crew to dance gracefully to the bow, pulling the boat over on top of themselves.
Level 4. The "Wile E. Coyote" Syndrome
Sailing singlehanded, reaching and trapped out, standing behind the rear crossbar. Bows go under, the boat comes to a halt, balanced on its nose. The skipper, now 16 feet in the air, thinks, "This ain't so bad - I'll just wait for the bows to back out and sail on." Then, the fatal error: he looks down. "Hey, there's nothin' holdin' me up here! AAAAAA!" -SPLASH!-
Level 5. The "Satellite" Syndrome
Sailing downwind in heavy air, the knothead crew decides to go out on the wire. With same knothead crew standing behind the rear crossbar, the bows dig in sharply. The knothead crew is launched forward, remaining hooked in, and begins to orbit the front of the boat. The skipper, still at his post, watches helplessly as the knothead crew's weight brings the boat to a final, embarrassing halt.
Level 6. The "Friendly Skies" Syndrome
Heavy air, reaching, double trapped at the end of a long day of sailing. The crew just HAS to remark, "I'm surprised we haven't pitchpoled yet." It's guaranteed within 30 seconds the bows head straight for Davy Jones. Skipper and crew, without having filed flight plans, fly away for parts unknown. After a short yet eventful journey, the pair splash down.
Never, ever allow the crew to say the P-word whilst sailing.
...
Other things I've heard:
"They was headin' for Cuba sideways." -remark made observing a boat on its side, crew struggling to right it, strong north winds.
"Damn, them bows was gonna visit Davy Jones." - after a pitchpole
Most anything David Beale has to say.
"Hang on to your diapies! We're going in!" -at a start line
