Hello there,

Tacking with two people on an H16 in heavy air can be fustrating. I don't have time to type up the steps to the Rick White Roll Tack here, but if you're only concerned with making it through irons, keep the jib backwinded until your main battens pop over to the new tack, then release the jib. It will slow you down almost instantly, but at least you'll be headed in the right direction.

As for coming back in downwind. If you feel that you're overpowered, then tighten up your traveller and mainsheet. It will stall out the sail and keep you from nosediving. Be careful to head as deep as possible when you do this "survivor mode" sailing, because if you head up, you'll power the sail back up and you might go over.