easy - no need for relationship therapist -
give her the tiller and STFU. Rail meat's not supposed to talk anyway. Only answer questions related to speed, course, time/distance to line/mark, and other boat positions.
Fast teams share information while sailing (when necessary), not critique, postulation, or "feelings".
So... you may not have the luxury of :
"dearest crew person, it has come to my attention that perhaps one or more of our sails has become overtaxed in its current configuration by the developing wind and sea state .
If, pray tell, you find it within your already busy schedule to ease some of the tension on this particular sail control line located 24 centimeters to the starboard of the mast base with the red and white flecked cover, it would certainly assist our efforts in reducing the tendency of this sailing craft to invert.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my request, and look forward, with eager anticipation, to your thoughts regarding this potential course of action. "
Where relationship therapy needs to be is if my spouse ever took interest in sailing. "move the thing over to there!" seems to leave me wanting for a bit more....detail?
Jay's Wife: "Well Jay, how does that make you feel, when I ask you to trim the jib tighter? Are you mad that I asked you to trim the jib? Are you telling me you think I'm wrong? Or are you saying you just don't want to trim my jib anymore? What's wrong with my jib? Do you think my jib is fat? You wanted to trim HER jib! I saw the way you were looking at her jib, Jay! Admit it, you'd rather trim HER jib, wouldn't you Jay?? Admit it, you think HER jib is nicer than my jib, don't you Jay!"
Jay: "OK, I'll trim your Damn Jib, now Leave me ALONE!!"
