easy - no need for relationship therapist -
give her the tiller and STFU. Rail meat's not supposed to talk anyway. Only answer questions related to speed, course, time/distance to line/mark, and other boat positions.
Fast teams share information while sailing (when necessary), not critique, postulation, or "feelings".
So... you may not have the luxury of :
"dearest crew person, it has come to my attention that perhaps one or more of our sails has become overtaxed in its current configuration by the developing wind and sea state .
If, pray tell, you find it within your already busy schedule to ease some of the tension on this particular sail control line located 24 centimeters to the starboard of the mast base with the red and white flecked cover, it would certainly assist our efforts in reducing the tendency of this sailing craft to invert.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my request, and look forward, with eager anticipation, to your thoughts regarding this potential course of action. "
Where relationship therapy needs to be is if my spouse ever took interest in sailing. "move the thing over to there!" seems to leave me wanting for a bit more....detail?
Clearly you haven't done much 2 up distance racing, or perhaps there was too much concentration on the racing and not enough fun? I know that doing 100+ miles per day gets boring quick if you don't have something to talk about-after 3 days the crew knows what line to pull on when or you're already in the drink.
