OK, I'll tell mine,

Guy takes his monkey to the bar and see's his buddy playing pool. He asks his buddy if he will watch his monkey while he goes to the head. His buddy agrees. The guy walks away and the monkey jumps up on the pool table, picks up the cue ball and swallows it.

The guy comes back and his buddy says, "hey man your monkey jumped up on the table and swallowed the cue ball, what's up with that?"

The guy apologized,"sorry but he's never done anything like that before". The guy takes his monkey and leaves.

A week later the guy comes back to the bar with his monkey and see's his buddy at the bar having a beer and eating peanuts. He walks up and asks him if he could watch his monkey while he goes to the head? His buddy agrees. The guy walks away and the monkey jumps up on the bar...picks up a peanut....sticks it up his butt..... then eats it. He proceeds to do this with every peanut he eats.

The guy comes back and his buddy says, "hey man what's up with your monkey? Last week he ate the cue ball, this week he's shoving peanuts up his butt before he eats them???"


The guy thinks for a moment and says,"Oh...well....you know.... after the cue ball....he measures everything before he eats it.