First of all, you should never cleat your main in heavy air. (At least when you are not using a spinnaker.)

Second, did you release the mainsheet and traveler after capsize? The reason for doing that is so that the water can run off the sail when you are righting the boat. Otherwise, water is on the sail, and that is a lot of extra weight to try to lift.

Third, after you capsized, did you go up on the bow and depress it so the bows would turn toward the wind? Sometimes it helps if you even sit on the bow with legs dragging in the water (like a sea anchor) to get the bows to turn toward the wind.

Usually you cannot get the bows closer than a 45-degree angle to the wind (wind coming in between the bows and the mast). But that is normally adequate to be able to right the boat.