MEMO

Attn: John Williams
Re: moving

John Williams, by order and decree of Poseidon, you are not allowed to leave the Southeastern United States for any period longer than 1 week. Failure to adhere to these terms will result in something very terrible like tofu veggie cake, unsalted pretzels, or 1 month old, warm, flat beer for your remaining 23.4 days.
Feel free to contact our office if you have any questions. We will deny your claim, and you will not pass go or collect $200. You will, in fact, pay us $200 x infinity.

I hope this is crystal clear for you!

TB