hi,
the method i use to solve this problem is real simple. i explain to crew members, this is my boat and i am responsible for paying for her. all i ask them to do is follow my clear simple instructions. i sail with a lot of non sailors and i use english terms; pull this rope rope not 'heave the line'. when i crew for others i am just that Crew. i eat humble pie, drink free beer and smile. knowing all the time we could be doing better but it's not my job i'm just the crew.