The stock Hobie kite for the 18 works OK. With a 12.5 ft pole you can sheet it from about half way between the side shroud and the rear beam (just make some stainless bars that fit under the hull lip to spread the load in the style of Hobie 16 shrouds).
A used windsurf mast works well for a pole. Vectran works for rigging it (use shackles instead of clevis pins where the bridles attach to the hull and you can tie off to these).
The Performance mid pole snuffer goes well with this set-up but is pricey. I have rigged the above set up to two peoples boats in the last couple of months and they love it.
You may try contacing Anthony Aquila on the Yahoo beach cats list (he's friends with Lee Wicklund) - he makes his own snuffer hoops and they seem to work well and are quite a bit cheaper.
Bag launching the kite is also an alternative. In desperate times I have crewed on an I-20 and had to bag launch the kite from a sleeping bag stuff sack when the regular pole with snuffer was M.I.A. Cheap but liveable if you are determined.
As you aren't racing I don't suppose rapid take downs are really important.
As for square tops, they do make the boat go well but are pricey. The guy I sold my 18SX to put a set of Ulman sails on the boat and it is pretty competitive in Portsmouth racing. A cheaper alternative may be to pick up a used F18 sail (e.g. Hobie Tiger Square Top) from some racer who is upgrading to the latest whiz bang extreme square top sails. The Tiger mast is 19 inches taller (requiring a recut) and the head board would need modification. An 18SX mast is about the same height as the Tiger if you can get a used one cheap.
I understand your view point about the 18 - they are sturdy and spare part boats seem to be readily available for good prices.
Chris.