May I suggest that when you get your video, not only look at how Rick and others properly do a roll tack but also look at the examples of how not to do a tack. You may observe something that you are doing wrong . There are some real good examples how to kill a tack on the 'upwind' video. Try and get your crew to watch it as well so she understands how to handle the jib during the tack (then have her talk to my wife and convince her she needs to watch the same video).
Good luck.
bob Klein
novice sailor.