When you say reaching, what angle are you talking? Two sail-reaching usually demands a lot of sheet work by the crew to keep the boat flying a hull and going fast. When really powered, dropping the traveler helps a lot. Also, make sure to move your weight back- skipper an be in the footstrap if it is choppy.
If you have the kite up, and are forced to sail high, again dropping the traveler helps. You can also go to two-wires. In both cases, make sure you are pulling your boards up some, this will really make the boat feel better, and is faster. Like you mentioned sailing lower is the best way to calm things down a bit, the boat can recover from a lot when both hulls are in the water.
As far as general depowering upwind, make sure you have your cunningham led out to the crew's trapeze so you can play it constantly. If you find you are maxing the cunningham, rotate the mast back some-this makes a huge difference. Also make sure your diamond tension is correct for the breeze- we tend to adjust ours between most races. If it is really breeze, try switching the jib clew to the bottom most hole, and easing the jib traveller way out. You definitely still want to be able to foot and go fast, so depower early, especially if you are light!