Warning : The following is attempted humor by non-professional. Some un-wanted side-effects may occur.
*************************************
Regatta T-Shirt Etiquette
adapted from "Triathlon T-Shirt Etiquette" by Mark Cathcart
In the Sailing community the wearing of regatta t-shirts has become a sign of accomplishment and fashion. Choosing just the right T-Shirt for that special occasion can be a daunting and difficult task. The following guidelines have been compiled to help the responsible t-shirt wearer avoid potential embarrassment and/or elevate their status.
1. A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in the event.
(Race Committee and regatta volunteers are exempt, see Guide #10.)
2. Wearing a t-shirt within 30-days of the regatta demonstrates lack of experience; it says: I don't have any other t-shirts, ergo I'm a novice! (see guidelines #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9).
3. A weekend regatta t-shirt, should not be worn to a multi-day regatta. It simply doesn't represent a high cool factor and sends a red flag regarding your rookiness'. If you raced in the Worrell, Texel, Ruff-Riders, 100-miler, or Continentals, or any regatta in foreign waters, definitely wear that shirt whenever possible.
4. When returning to a regatta in which you previously raced, then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the regatta. Don't short change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesn't adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran status that you are due.
5. Never wear a regatta shirt from the race you are about to compete in. It displays a lack of integrity and tempts fate. (See Guide #7, #8).
6. Wearing a t-shirt of the regatta, while currently participating in said regatta, is discouraged. It's like being at work and constantly announcing "I'm at work". (See Guide #7).
7. Never wear a shirt from a weekend regatta that you did not finish. To wear it is to say I finished it.
8. A DNF'er may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written on the shirt in question. It will stimulate discussion and you get a chance to explain why you DNF'd.
9. During a race the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have. This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to drop out since you've done it before.
10. Race committee and regatta volunteers have full t-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining thereto.
11. No souvenir shirts! Friends or anyone else not associated with the race may not wear a race shirt. If your 'partner' thinks that the Windsor sweatshirt is great, tell them to send in their application early for next year so they can earn their own. This also means you should not buy old regatta t-shirts at Goodwill.
12. Not withstanding Guideline #2, wear the regatta t-shirt of your last race at the current regatta skipper's meeting. The more recent the race the better. This is a good conversation starter, and can be intimidating to your competiton, since it shows you have raced recently, and are all tuned up & ready to go. However, avoid the tendency to explain how the last regatta was training for this regatta, and this is just training for the next regatta, etc. It just sounds like you're rationalizing mediocre performances. Sometimes it's best to live in the here and now. ("I've never been more prepared for a regatta! This is the big one!")
13. It must be clean (dried blood stains are okay).
14. If you've finished the Worrell, Texel, or any other multi-day or long-distance race, then wear the t-shirt as often as possible, since these races are so damn hard.
15. If you don't know what things like DNF, OCS, RDG, DSQ are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you do.
T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your sailing brethren. They are great for stimulating conversation with the opposite sex at the gym (aka chat-up lines). Worn stupidly, they can cause blisters, sunburn, vacant stares, and cause social anxiety.
NOTE: Publicly these guidelines will be denied and possibly ridiculed by sailors worldwide, but privately and when discussed confidentially, they sing a different tune.
