OK, I'll start.

I saw this bumper sticker on a car recently. You know how some vehicles have stats like '0-60 in 4.8 seconds'.

Well the bumper sticker read:

0 to B!TCH in 1.5 seconds!

Another one I saw, with a MILF driving:

If you're going to ride my butt, you'll have to pull on my hair too!