Danno,

You have a disease called "analysis paralysis". Stop thinking and get the boat in the water. Experience will teach you what you need. Just go sailing...a lot! Be aggressive, be fearless. Worst case? You'll get wet.

You don't need a pole. A N450 is under 15 feet and should be trivial to right with just a line. Sail with crew the first few times to learn about righting technique. Sail in deep water (swimming, not standing). Sail HARD and recklessly and you'll flip, no problem. Don't worry, embrace the situation, laugh a lot with your crew, and sort out how to do it. Then figure it out solo. It will be easy on your boat.

By the way, that photo doesn't look like a universal joint, just a hinge. I used a H14 gooseneck...cheap & plentiful. I'll add a photo of my system if you need it. But you don't.

The pole does NOT have to handle quite a bit of load. It only allows you to pull a righting line from further out from the hulls. If used correctly, you hang on the pole out where the line connects, you NEVER hang on the middle. You can break anything if used incorrectly (I've sat on a dozen aluminum tiller extentions). Try using a Sunfish spar. It's T6061, light yet strong, and can be found cheap because they often break at the gooseneck at the 11 foot mark (plenty left for your use).

David