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A Joke #58290
10/01/05 12:14 PM
10/01/05 12:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 17
David Offline OP
stranger
David  Offline OP
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I heard this joke a little while ago and I'm not sure I've got it right, but I'll pass it on. You may have heard this before.

Definition of heaven: British police, German cars, French food.

Definition of hell: British food, German police, French cars.

Have you Euro guys heard this?

Have a great sailing weekend!

David
H20

-- Have You Seen This? --
Re: A Joke [Re: David] #58291
10/01/05 12:24 PM
10/01/05 12:24 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,584
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Tony_F18 Offline
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Tony_F18  Offline
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Quote

Definition of hell: British food, German police, French cars.

Have you Euro guys heard this?


Hmm, I think it should read:
Definition of hell: British cars, German food, French police. ;-)

Re: A Joke [Re: Tony_F18] #58292
10/01/05 02:48 PM
10/01/05 02:48 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
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Mary  Offline
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Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Since, unfortunately, I have never been to Europe, it is hard for me to appreciate your "joke." But I think my definition of heaven would probably include French multihulls.

The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: David] #58293
10/01/05 03:21 PM
10/01/05 03:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,582
North-West Europe
Wouter Offline
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Wouter  Offline
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Heaven :

A place where the cooks are French
The police are British
The mechanics are German
The lovers are Italian
And the whole place is run by the Swiss


Hell :

A place where the cooks are British
The police are German
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
And the whole place is run by the Italians



Wouter Hijink
Formula 16 NED 243 (one-off; homebuild)
The Netherlands
Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Wouter] #58294
10/01/05 05:42 PM
10/01/05 05:42 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,584
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Tony_F18 Offline
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Quote


Heaven :

The police are British


Somehow, I dont think this poor guy would agree...

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Tony_F18] #58295
10/01/05 06:06 PM
10/01/05 06:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,528
Looking for a Job, I got credi...
scooby_simon Offline
Hull Flying, Snow Sliding....
scooby_simon  Offline
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Quote
Quote


Heaven :

The police are British


Somehow, I dont think this poor guy would agree...


You need to be real carefull with things like that.

Find me a police force that has not shot an innocent man.

An innocent man who should not have been in the UK as it happens, his visa had expired some time ago.



F16 - GBR 553 - SOLD

I also talk sport here
Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: scooby_simon] #58296
10/01/05 06:35 PM
10/01/05 06:35 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 77
Tiger Offline
journeyman
Tiger  Offline
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Totally disagree:

There is no excuse EVER for police to kill innocent people, considering police is supposed to protect people. not to threaten them (the now famous shoot-to-kill policy).

2. The guy was legal in the country

3. he was NOT running

4. he did not wear a big jacket

5 he was killed by SEVEN bullets while he was lying on the floor and already in control/

and so on and so on.

I really dislike this subservience to the authority even when they are TOTALLY wrong.

By the way, French cars: Renault just got formula one champion.

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Tiger] #58297
10/01/05 07:51 PM
10/01/05 07:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 198
D
davidtilley Offline
member
davidtilley  Offline
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D

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 198
How it goes?
Show me a police force than never killed an innocent man and I'll show you a police force that never did anything....
What if the guy had blown them all to hell when they had him in a pile, would they be heroes or would we still say, "all those cops around and the guy still blew up all these poor innocent civilians..."
That is the full version of the joke.

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: davidtilley] #58298
10/02/05 07:03 AM
10/02/05 07:03 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 77
Tiger Offline
journeyman
Tiger  Offline
journeyman

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 77
what if, what if...

you sound so scared.

What are you ready to accept in the name of "safety" or an illusion of safety?

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Tiger] #58299
10/02/05 10:39 AM
10/02/05 10:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 198
D
davidtilley Offline
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davidtilley  Offline
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Posts: 198
I'm ready to accept that present Government can't do much effective good at all.
I'm ready to accept that Democracy is the right system of government, and that it doesn't work for long, because humans have short memories when life is easy.
I'm scared of big government and the ability of financial/political power to fashion law.
I accept PHRF as a way to all get on the water and have fun.

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: davidtilley] #58300
10/02/05 04:07 PM
10/02/05 04:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,528
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scooby_simon Offline
Hull Flying, Snow Sliding....
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Quote
Totally disagree:

There is no excuse EVER for police to kill innocent people, considering police is supposed to protect people. not to threaten them (the now famous shoot-to-kill policy).

2. The guy was legal in the country

3. he was NOT running

4. he did not wear a big jacket

5 he was killed by SEVEN bullets while he was lying on the floor and already in control.

[color:"blue"]so are you saying that there was no way a suspected bomber could trigger a bomb in this case without being totally incapacitated? Are you going to face down a suspected bomber ? Unarmed and ask a suspected bomber to (nicely of course, not trigger the weapon they are suspected to have.


I am not excusing the fact an innocent man was killed. I am not saying the person's involved (with 20:20 hindsite) did the right thing, far from it, a terrible mistake was made [/color]

/

and so on and so on.

I really dislike this subservience to the authority even when they are TOTALLY wrong.

[color:"blue"]I am not suservient to this authority. There was a policy in place at the time that was VERY well publicisised (Shoot-to-kill suspected terrorists in and around London). Every one I know who works in london (me included) was being VERY carefull at the time. [/color]


One thing I should add is that having re-read my post above I should have said "....an innocent man after investigation."


F16 - GBR 553 - SOLD

I also talk sport here
Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Tiger] #58301
10/02/05 04:24 PM
10/02/05 04:24 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,074
Northfield,NH USA
bullswan Offline
Pooh-Bah
bullswan  Offline
Pooh-Bah

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Posts: 2,074
Northfield,NH USA
Quote
Totally disagree:

There is no excuse EVER for police to kill innocent people, considering police is supposed to protect people. not to threaten them (the now famous shoot-to-kill policy).

2. The guy was legal in the country


Mistakes will ALWAYS be made. We are humans after all. Even the police are human, Tiger. I know they drill the police here on good guy/ bad guy targets and I assume they do in London as well. Personally, I'm not going to condemn a man (who goes through training and is committed to public safety AND has been putting his life on the line daily) for doing what he thought was right. I suspect I'm not alone.

And not that it matters to you , but was the guy there without a visa (and therefore illegally) or not? I haven't seen a definative word on that. Why? I have less sympathy for those committing illegal acts is all.

Finally, what makes me ill is those that NEVER have respect for the authority regardless of what they do.

Greg


The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. - George Will
"It's not that liberals aren't smart, it's just that so much of what they know isn't so" -Ronald Reagan
Here is a novel idea [Re: scooby_simon] #58302
10/02/05 04:45 PM
10/02/05 04:45 PM
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Posts: 9,582
North-West Europe
Wouter Offline
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Wouter  Offline
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Here is a novel idea.

Quote

There was a policy in place at the time that was VERY well publicisised (Shoot-to-kill suspected terrorists in and around London). Every one I know who works in london (me included) was being VERY carefull at the time.



Hey lets just shoot everybody who looks suspicious in the London subway, we're bound to get lucky some time. And afterall everybody was warned not to act suspiciously well in advance and even in non mistakable terms. So everybody who did act suspiciously and is killed can only blame himself for acting suspiciously !

Prefect reasoning I would say, no mistakes possible !

If only the REAL TERRORISTS would comply to the set out rules and act suspiciously. You know like, not shave themselfs for a few days and wear red bandana's with jihadi texts. But of course these evil f#ckers, deviant as they are, will now try their utmost to appear like normal business men. Just like our man, Scooby here.

Darn, what now. humm, lets see.

Hey, lets just warn everybody not to act like business men and just shoot all the suits on sight. At least they can't say that they weren't warned, right ? And were bound to get lucky sooner or later. And we are seen to at least be doing something. Right ?

... Right ? ...

What ? no cheers from the white shirt and tie crowd this time ?




All this white (business class) trash should remember one important thing, as written down by the German anti-Nazi activist, Pastor Martin Niemöller



First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Catholic

Then when they came for me and other protestants
nobody protested or came to my defense
None were left that could.




Last edited by Wouter; 10/02/05 04:53 PM.

Wouter Hijink
Formula 16 NED 243 (one-off; homebuild)
The Netherlands
Re: Here is a novel idea [Re: Wouter] #58303
10/02/05 09:05 PM
10/02/05 09:05 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 1,307
Asuncion, Paraguay
Luiz Offline
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Luiz  Offline
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Asuncion, Paraguay
I've seen a version of the original joke with even more nationalities involved than Wouter' version, but can't quite remember the text - sorry. Still, I am tempted to update it, so that Brazilians would be wining Laser regattas in heaven - 8th Worlds title for Robert Scheit last week - and running (in) the London tube in hell...

Some loose comments that will certainly NOT put an end to the current discussion, but may interest you:

-The major and more serious weekly Brazilian magazine "Veja" dedicated more space to comment negatively on the many organizations and people who tried to use the accident for their own political objectives than to the fact itself.

- Another local press comment: worse than the accident, is the fact that the odds of a Brazilian citizen being shot by mistake in some areas of Rio or Sao Paulo are worse than they were in London, with a "shoot to kill" policy in force.

- The press reported the story mostly as a bad and sad police mistake, surrounded by lots of publicity and deserving discussion not only of the "shoot and kill" policy, but also of the current balance between freedom and safety.

My opinions:

- Legal or illegal, the guy just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, resembling the wrong terrorist and speaking with an odd accent. Sh&t happens.

- Terrorists like to get Brazilian passports because anyone can pass for a Brazilian. Due to a large population of immigrants from all around the world, Brazilians' faces and names may be Arab, European, African, Oriental, etc. My guess is that the Brazilian passport might have increased the police's perception that the guy was a real terrorist.

- An intriguing question is: how do the Israeli police handle similar situations? If they'd commit a mistake like that, the world's negative reaction would have been stronger and last longer, with heavier consequences for the country. And they have reason to enforce that policy ALL the time.

Thanks for the poem Wouter. It leaves aside homosexuals and some other minorities that Nazis killed, but the point is clear and correct: pragmatism has a limit. So the whole discussion circles around two questions:

1) How much freedom is reasonable to sacrifice for safety?

2) How much pragmatism is acceptable before the application of higher principles becomes mandatory?

I guess there is no exact answer for those two, but this has nothing to do with sailing, so I’ll leave you with a question I actually would like to get answers for:

Anyone knows a sailor who has won eight or more World Championships in one class? Paul Elvstrom won 12 Worlds, but in about six classes.

Thanks.


Luiz
Re: Here is a novel idea [Re: Luiz] #58304
10/03/05 07:51 AM
10/03/05 07:51 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3,114
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MauganN20 Offline
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Quote
A Joke


....what this thread turned into....

:rolleyes:

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: davidtilley] #58305
10/03/05 09:48 AM
10/03/05 09:48 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,906
Clermont, FL, USA
David Ingram Offline
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David Ingram  Offline
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Clermont, FL, USA
Quote
I accept PHRF as a way to all get on the water and have fun.


You had me all the way to the end then you blew it! GO OD!


David Ingram
F18 USA 242
http://www.solarwind.solar

"Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda
"Excuses are the tools of the weak and incompetent" - Two sista's I overheard in the hall
"You don't have to be a brain surgeon to be a complete idiot, but it helps"
Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: David Ingram] #58306
10/03/05 10:38 AM
10/03/05 10:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
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Mary  Offline
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Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Dave,
The key word is "accept." That's a lot different from want, desire, crave, etc. For many people handicap racing is an "acceptable" alternative when you can't have one-design racing.

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Mary] #58307
10/03/05 03:04 PM
10/03/05 03:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 829
Charleston, SC
NCSUtrey Offline
old hand
NCSUtrey  Offline
old hand

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 829
Charleston, SC
Here's some simple math for you:

Catsailor.com = sailing
Catsailor.com >> politics
Therefore, sailing >> politics.
This thread isn't sailing........kill it.

Trey
N20 873
Layline.com


Trey
Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: NCSUtrey] #58308
10/03/05 03:06 PM
10/03/05 03:06 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,921
Michigan
PTP Offline
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PTP  Offline
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Michigan
Here's some simple math for you:

Catsailor.com = sailing
Catsailor.com >> politics
Therefore, sailing >> politics.
This thread isn't sailing........kill it.


I second this motion

Re: The full version of the Joke is ... [Re: Wouter] #58309
10/03/05 03:33 PM
10/03/05 03:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 101
chesapeake bay
davidn Offline
member
davidn  Offline
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Posts: 101
chesapeake bay
Quote


Heaven :

A place where the cooks are French
The police are British
The mechanics are German
The lovers are Italian
And the whole place is run by the Swiss


Hell :

A place where the cooks are British
The police are German
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
And the whole place is run by the Italians



That's it! Boy did I have a shorthand version stored in my memory, but that's what happens as you get older. The version I heard substituted cars for mechanics and women for lovers. This version works better for both sexes.

There are three things you lose as you age; your hair, your eyesight, and...I can't remember the third thing.

This community is truly amazing (and entertaining). We go from a joke to European politics and policing, and then, somehow, to handicap vs. one design. Truly great leaps in hijacking, but fun.

David
H20 781

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