tracie:

When I was learning to sail in lasers about 13 years ago, because we were so small, the sailing school would crew us up. My first sailing camp I got stuck with the fat, slow skipper who had a propensity to death roll. As a sailing noob, all the kids would tell me that I was going to have a blast with "Death Roll Dickie" when the wind picked up and we had to gybe. I of course, didn't know what the hell they were talking about. The first week of camp or so, the wind never got higher than 7 knots or so. The second week however, the wind blew 15 knots the whole time, and I learned what it was to fall over backwards, get hit with the boom, and come in last place tired and covered with jellyfish stings (which, now, I have built up a tolerance/immunity to thanks to that kid).

The third week, I was sick and tired of sailing with Dick. Even I could tell after just sailing for two weeks that he sucked, he was to fat for the laser (even as an 8 year old this kid was huge) and I wanted off. So I went to the sailing instructor and whined, and told him, that I was getting off that boat one way or another (actually, at 8yo I threw a tantrum after I got stuck with him on the monday of the third week). So the instructor told me to rig my boat and that I was going to skipper then. After knowing that you were "supposed" to have crewed for a full summer before you skipper, I was quite suprised, but given the fact that the skipper/crew pairings for the summer had already been established, I see now that this was the only recourse for the instructor. I got paired with one of the Pram sailors that wanted to jump to lasers. The wind was blowing about 10 knots, and we were going to sail to a kid's house for his bday pool party that day.

The first day, my sail ripped, my tiller snapped in half, my centerboard broke, and the boat took on tons of water and I ended up having to be towed back most of the way. I was scared to death. I didn't really have a clue what I was doing. I knew basically that I had to steer in reverse (you'd be suprised how long that took getting used to) and I probably scared the sh*t out of the poor crew kid for most of the summer, but I ended up getting the "most improved sailor" at the end of the camp because I had gone skipper so quickly and started doing well in races.

Now I'm sure your situation is different (you're not an 8 year old boy for one) but I think the point is that we were all a little (alot) nervous when we took the helm the first couple of times. It wouldn't be exciting if it wasn't. If you're afraid of making a mistake in front of your skipper, then well, you'd know what its like to be a man who makes mistakes in front of his woman, the derivation of "the look"