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Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... #180879
06/04/09 07:01 AM
06/04/09 07:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,844
42.904444 N; 88.008586 W
Todd_Sails Offline OP
Carpal Tunnel
Todd_Sails  Offline OP
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,844
42.904444 N; 88.008586 W
They have to start with:

You might be a Redneck IF:



....you steal firewood from your neighbors woodpile.


....you've ever taken flowers to a date, that you stole from a cemetery.


...your wife is larger than your pickup truck.

...the primary color of your truck is Bondo.


They can be your own as well.

I like this one:

You might be a redneck if, you think that family reunions is a good place to pick up chicks.

Or this,
people stop at your house, thinking you're having a yard sale.


F-18 Infusion
#626- SOLD it!

'Long Live the Legend of Chris Kyle'
-- Have You Seen This? --
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Todd_Sails] #180887
06/04/09 07:25 AM
06/04/09 07:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 67
Daytona Beach
Jeff_Bowers Offline
journeyman
Jeff_Bowers  Offline
journeyman

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 67
Daytona Beach
We need to keep this sailing related.
Such as

You might be a redneck if you buy your jib blocks at Ace hardware.

You might be a redneck if you substitue a 2X6 for a broken rudder.

You might be a redneck if your front cross bar is held to your boat by a C clamp? (true story any one want to guess the sailor)


Jeff Bowers
Mystere 6.0(sometimes XL)
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Jeff_Bowers] #180917
06/04/09 10:31 AM
06/04/09 10:31 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,430
california
F-18 5150 Offline
veteran
F-18 5150  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,430
california
You might be a redneck if ;
You take the wheels of your house and put them on your trailer.
Your Jib sheet is your wifes clothes line.


Richard Vilvens
Brand Ambassador
PSA Capricorn USA
R.Vilvens@yahoo.com
Fairfield, Ca
F-18 5150

http://www.capricornsailing.com/
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: F-18 5150] #180923
06/04/09 11:03 AM
06/04/09 11:03 AM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Mary  Offline
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Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
You got it backwards -- your wife's clothesline is your jib sheet.

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Mary] #180924
06/04/09 11:06 AM
06/04/09 11:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,655
Portland, Maine
T
ThunderMuffin Offline
Carpal Tunnel
ThunderMuffin  Offline
Carpal Tunnel
T

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,655
Portland, Maine
you might be a redneck if you had a piece of closet bar as a bow foil on your hodge-podge H17.


Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: ThunderMuffin] #180926
06/04/09 11:13 AM
06/04/09 11:13 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,969
B
brucat Offline
Carpal Tunnel
brucat  Offline
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B

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Posts: 3,969
"You got it backwards -- your wife's clothesline is your jib sheet."

Unless that was an OLD jib sheet, I believe that qualifies her as the soon-to-be EX-wife of said redneck sailor.

Got to have priorities...

Mike

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180928
06/04/09 11:34 AM
06/04/09 11:34 AM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Mary  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Originally Posted by brucat
"You got it backwards -- your wife's clothesline is your jib sheet."

Unless that was an OLD jib sheet, I believe that qualifies her as the soon-to-be EX-wife of said redneck sailor.

Got to have priorities...

Mike

Again, you have it backwards. The redneck sailor STOLE his wife's clothesline to use as his jib sheet.

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Mary] #180929
06/04/09 11:39 AM
06/04/09 11:39 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,969
B
brucat Offline
Carpal Tunnel
brucat  Offline
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All about perspective. I was looking at it as the sailor whose wife stole the jib sheet to make a clothesline.

Of course (and my actual wife would agree), she would only be hurting herself by taking HER jibsheet off the boat... wink

Mike

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180939
06/04/09 12:01 PM
06/04/09 12:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Mary  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Well, I'm sure a true redneck couple would take turns using that particular piece of rope as a clothesline and as a jib sheet. grin
And maybe for other things, too.

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Mary] #180954
06/04/09 12:29 PM
06/04/09 12:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,253
Columbia South Carolina, USA
dave mosley Offline
veteran
dave mosley  Offline
veteran

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,253
Columbia South Carolina, USA
" If your tiller is an adjustable paint stick from Lowe's"

"If your Mast is steel conduit from Lowes"- Yes I had a Sea Snark at 1 time in my life and I bent my mast in the surf(what the hell was I doing in the ocean in a snark?)


The men were amazed, and said, "What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Matthew 8:27





Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Mary] #180957
06/04/09 12:55 PM
06/04/09 12:55 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,969
B
brucat Offline
Carpal Tunnel
brucat  Offline
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Posts: 3,969
"Well, I'm sure a true redneck couple... ROPE as a clothesline and as a jib sheet."

Matt Bounds will flip when he reads that...

"And maybe for other things, too."

I'm probably taking this the wrong way too, but do you really have to be a redneck for that???

Mike

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180960
06/04/09 01:20 PM
06/04/09 01:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 342
Indianapolis, IN - Midwest USA...
IndyWave Offline
enthusiast
IndyWave  Offline
enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 342
Indianapolis, IN - Midwest USA...
If your sail has "duck tape" holding it together...

If your hull has "duck tape" holding it together...

If any piece of hardware has been replaced by several layers of "duck tape"...

If you have fashioned a loop of "duck tape" on your shroud to hold your beer...


What - Me Worry?


2006 Hobie Wave 7358
"Ish Kabibble"
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: IndyWave] #180961
06/04/09 01:25 PM
06/04/09 01:25 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,969
B
brucat Offline
Carpal Tunnel
brucat  Offline
Carpal Tunnel
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,969
If you refer to duct tape as "duck tape"... wink

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180962
06/04/09 01:30 PM
06/04/09 01:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 342
Indianapolis, IN - Midwest USA...
IndyWave Offline
enthusiast
IndyWave  Offline
enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 342
Indianapolis, IN - Midwest USA...
(That's what I meant! smirk )


What - Me Worry?


2006 Hobie Wave 7358
"Ish Kabibble"
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: IndyWave] #180967
06/04/09 02:05 PM
06/04/09 02:05 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,582
“an island in the Pacific....
hobie1616 Offline
Carpal Tunnel
hobie1616  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,582
“an island in the Pacific....
Originally Posted by IndyWave
If your sail has "duck tape" holding it together...

If your hull has "duck tape" holding it together...

If any piece of hardware has been replaced by several layers of "duck tape"...

If you have fashioned a loop of "duck tape" on your shroud to hold your beer...

You mean "Alabama Chrome" as in, "My car had some rust holes in it so I covered them up with Alabama Chrome."


US Sail Level 2 Instructor
US Sail Level 3 Coach
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180974
06/04/09 02:46 PM
06/04/09 02:46 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 162
Dunedin Causeway, FL
hobiephil Offline
member
hobiephil  Offline
member

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 162
Dunedin Causeway, FL
Originally Posted by brucat
If you refer to duct tape as "duck tape"... wink

You might be a redneck if you know either is correct. (look it up)

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: brucat] #180987
06/04/09 03:48 PM
06/04/09 03:48 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Mary Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Mary  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 5,558
Key Largo, FL & Put-in-Bay, OH...
Quote
"And maybe for other things, too."

I'm probably taking this the wrong way too, but do you really have to be a redneck for that???

I don't know what your "wrong way" is, but I was thinking more about using that that same jib sheet/clothesline to tie the boat down on the trailer -- or maybe tying down a beloved grandparent in the back of the pickup, for safety reasons, when transporting to the hospital.

The uses of a piece of rope are endless. We have used old sheets to tow disabled cars to the repair shop, and to rig up a block-and-tackle system to get a hot tub up onto an upstairs balcony.

Now that I think about it, if we didn't have sailboats, we wouldn't have all this rope lying around to use for all sorts of things.

Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: Mary] #181007
06/04/09 06:21 PM
06/04/09 06:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,911
South Florida & the Keys
arbo06 Offline
Pooh-Bah
arbo06  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,911
South Florida & the Keys
You might be a RedNeck if you stop racing to fish.

YMBARN if you have rod holders on yer catamaran....

YMBARN if ....


Eric Arbogast
ARC 2101
Miami Yacht Club
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: arbo06] #181008
06/04/09 06:26 PM
06/04/09 06:26 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,911
South Florida & the Keys
arbo06 Offline
Pooh-Bah
arbo06  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,911
South Florida & the Keys
YMBARN if you keep live bait in yer hull access.


Eric Arbogast
ARC 2101
Miami Yacht Club
Re: Jeff Foxworthy Jokes......... [Re: arbo06] #181020
06/04/09 07:41 PM
06/04/09 07:41 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 168
San Diego
H
hokie Offline
member
hokie  Offline
member
H

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 168
San Diego
I can think of several that might apply to this boat.

http://www.thebeachcats.com/classifieds/showproduct.php/product/1778/cat/1


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