Mary,
I hope you'll forgive me, but I believe you are mistaken. You don't break any rule by not protesting and you cannot be penalized just because you didn't.

I suspect this notion is an outgrowth of the old exoneration rule. That is, if you are compelled to break a rule because of the illegal actions of another boat, you are exonerated. It used to be that you had to protest the other boat and win in order to be exonerated. If you didn't, then a third boat could protest you for the rule you broke.

For example, if you were entitled to room at a mark, but the other boat didn't give you enough, and you touched the mark as a result, you would have to either take a 360 degree turn or protest the other boat and win in order to be exonerated. If you just sailed on, then a third-party who witnessed you hit the mark could protest you and you'd wind up disqualified.

That requirement, however, went away in the 2001-2004 rules. You no longer have to win a protest to be exonerated. In the above example, the protest committee would hear the facts and (based on their judgement) exonerate you. They also could (and should) protest the first boat, make her a party to the protest, and possibly disqualify her.

On the flip-side, just because the other boat didn't protest doesn't mean you didn't break a rule. When I break a rule, I am honor-bound to take a penalty (or retire), whether or not the other boat protests.

Getting back to the original topic, in the fleets that I race, I don't personally see much resentment based on different skippers' skill levels. Yes, some are better than others but we're all out there to have fun. I sense more resentment between people who interpret rules differently - and often honestly so. It's not always the rule-breakers vs. the sea-lawyers.

Regards,
Eric