Wow.
I'll tell ya, you fellers say you don't understand women. Reading stuff like this, I don't either.
I just can't understand chix who marry a guy and then go about trying to change him. My sympathies. Really Timbo, she stood in the frickin' doorway and said that to your children? Did you just not help her out at all? Sorry, I'm honestly shocked to hear that.
I learned from having an alcoholic dad that I'd WAAAAY rather have a feller with a hobby than a drunken sh!thead. Maybe if you offer your gals that comparison then they might come around. I have made that very point to a couple of 'sailing widows' at regattas, girl comes up looking for sympathy for being left on the beach, don't get nuthin' from me. Go shopping, girl. You get the guy, you get the baggage. Vicey versy.
Perhaps consider trading out baby duties and working out a sked. Marriage is about compromise, right? You EACH should be able to engage in activity outside the family duties or there will be bitterness.