Originally Posted by Jeff Peterson
If Presidential candidates were sailors, what would they be sailing???



Back to the original question....

Clinton would most likely sail a pirate ship. You don't know where she is, she'd lie about it anyways even if she told you. Chances are she'll blow up. The logs would be deleted. Clearly. Bill would be caught banging everything on board. Everything.

Trump, I'm not sure, is there an equivilent to a clown car in the sailing world? He's floating around where ever there are cameras to pay attention to his stupidity. The boat is equipped with the loudest stereo ever. Surfers like it since even when moored it makes a wake just from the BS spewing over the speakers.

Rubio, Noah's Ark, that butt clown thinks he was sent by god anyways. He's just sailing in circles, hoping to get noticed. Counter clockwise circles for some reason.

Sanders would be on a pink Sunfish, with unicorns, rainbows, and a menorah shooting free sh!t into the air. His course is set on La La Land.

Cruz is sailing a Viking ship. When he comes over the horizon, nothing good is coming. He's from a strange land, so nothing he says even makes sense anyways. Chances are the dragging the dock as it is still tied to the boat, but he did remove his beach wheels.... Jake.

Jeb is paddling a beat up canoe, just outside of Midland Texas. There's no water, which is actually lucky since it'd sink in a matter of minutes anyways.





This is one scary election cycle. No matter who wins, we lose.


I'm boatless.