I picture Donald Trump sailing a Snark. He keeps it at his private island (frequented by the Jubjub and the Bandersnatch) and eats lobster while talking in contemptuous tones of the sharks.

Bernie Sanders sails a 420 named "Smokin'". He promises everybody one of their very own along with lifetime free sailing classes - with no plan whatsoever to find instructors or pay for it.

If Hillary Clinton had her way, she'd confiscate all the Gunboats and restrict their use to government and law enforcement personnel only. Her private G4 would be piloted by her Secret Service detail and she'd sip martinis while foiling to her next Wall Street speaking engagement.

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and John Kasich repeatedly splash each other with oars; fall in the water; snag on trees; run aground on sandbars; and get stuck between locks as the three men attempt to row a pram up the Thames - to say nothing of the dog.

The way this election is shaping up -- I wish "none of the above" was a choice on the ballot.