I want to thank Todd, Chumlee, the long lost Sparky, Carl, K-Lube, femalegenitalia-‘n’-Paste Schwartz and all the rest of you RINO/teabagger/alt-right denizens of the fever swamp you claim is conservative politics for your hard work that made it possible to elect the first woman president of the United States.

I do realize the election is a few days off but the media, that is totally controlled by the “democraps”, have taken control of every voting place in every church, basement and garage in America to insure a landslide that goes well beyond anything seen in modern history. Unless you count all of Putin’s elections of course. The only thing in doubt is how far the Senate will go Dem. We may see a new SCOTUS justice before the end of the year.

Your good works have metastasized into Trump, a person who has garnered descriptive words like racist, pathological liar, con artist, misogynist, birther, raging xenophobe and sexual predator. And let’s not forget his calls to incite political violence, the straight-up dictator move of threatening to arrest his opponents and blocking minorities from voting. Then there’s his debunked theories on international banks plotting the destruction of U.S. sovereignty, a veiled anti-Semitic attack and his claim Ted Cruz’s father conspired with Lee Harvey Oswald. There’s more but you certainly get the idea.

I’m sure many of you were hoping for a different candidate but you got what you deserved because there wasn't one capable or inspiring person in the infamous "Clown Car" lineup. All 16 of the non-Trump entrants were dunces, religious zealots, wimps or tyrants, all equally out of touch with voters. Scott Walker was a lipless sadist who in centuries past would have worn a leather jerkin and thrown dogs off the castle walls for recreation. Marco Rubio was the young rake with debts. Jeb Bush was the last offering in a fast-diminishing hereditary line. Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer. And so on.

By the time the other 16 candidates finished their mass-suicide-squad routine, a tail-chasing, sewer-mouthed septuagenarian New Yorker was accepting the nomination of the Family Values Party.

So, great work guys. You’ve made the USA the laughingstock of the rest of the free world. Keep chanting the new GOP mantra, "Grab them by the pussy." It’s gotten you where you are today.