What's worse to have in Congress, a child molester or a Democrat?

The question posed by the election is apparently, for Republicans, existential. Both Roy Moore supporters and Roy Moore detractors in the party have framed the political debate as a clear choice: Would you rather have an actual child molester in office—or someone from the other party? This is apparently a profound and difficult choice. Republican leaders and functionaries continue to be at odds with each other over whether installing a child molester and serial predator as their newest Republican senator would be worth it if the child molester is willing to vote with the party to cut corporate taxes.

You would think that this is a joke, or a philosophical what-if scenario presented to demonstrate to students what true public corruption looks like. Nope. Alabama Republican leaders and supposed "evangelical" Moore backers alike are all struggling with whether Child Molestation Is Really That Bad, if it helps cement party or church power. Those people are monsters.